So here’s the thing. You’re a guy in his early 20s and you’re handed this awesome, grand project to accomplish. You have no experience, precious little skill, and only a vague sense of what the finished project should look like. But it’s yours. All yours.
The project is Fatherhood.
For years I have looked at fathers around me grappling with the issue that Fatherhood gets us into. Many are more skilled than I was, but some are like me – trying hard to get it right, but with this vague sense that we’re not really doing so well. And wishing we had a few better ideas, inspirations and skill sets.
Then I’ve also seen these Dads that seemed to know how to do it. Many of them were older than me, but not all. I would see their relationships with their children and admire that. A few times I got some really good advice from a handful of them. Some of these times I asked for the advice. Some came unsolicited, and it stung at the moment. Till it sank in and I realized I needed it and it was really good for me, and produced good results for my family.
In reality, this is not two distinct groups of people. One day I am the one needing advice or a little more courage, or vision. Maybe the next day I have something I can offer to someone who needs it. Maybe every Dad could have something to add to the collection of Fatherhood wisdom.
So what if that wealth of wisdom and experience and inspiration could somehow be made available to us when we needed it? That’s what I have long wished – that someone would collect the stories, the life lessons, the reproofs, the encouragements that fathers have experienced, and put them in a book to inspire and instruct us when we need it.
That is the short version of the inspiration behind this blpg (and eventually a book?) idea. Would you join me in writing it? I have some stories and ideas to share, but I want it to be a compilation of the wisdom of many fathers. What’s the Fatherhood lesson that kicked you in the gut (some of them do feel like that). What has been a guiding principle in your father-journey and how have you seen it play out in your children?
I’m not looking for stories from perfect fathers. There aren’t any. It is often in the detritus of our own failures and mistakes that the most meaningful revelations come. If it’s a bit painful, share it anyway. Most of us will be able to relate very well.
Every father is also a son, and most of us got our initial fatherhood lessons from our dads. Let’s add what we recall of their wisdom to our collection.
Fatherhood is a journey of joy. But it contains some sorrow too. It’s a place of great satisfactions, with some disappointments mixed in. It’s a pleasure, with some pain. It’s fantastic, and at times overwhelming. It’s the most consequential endeavor that most of us will have the opportunity to engage in, by far, and the most rewarding.
So let’s share our stories.
